Friday, January 01, 2010

The initiate

I feel tremendously blessed.

Last year during the full moon in Cancer, I gave birth. Last night saw the return of that full moon (though my son's solar birthday is still nine days away). These past twelve lunar cycles have been a year-long intensive, an initiation, a breathtaking journey down into myself--a self who is now two, in that strange human way that flesh begets flesh and produces another who is of oneself but not oneself. From breastfeeding, and sharing attachment parenting with my partner, has emerged the most intimate relationship of my life, we three. Being a mother challenges me in ways I never anticipated and brings me into bliss.

One of the most striking things, to me, about motherhood is how it's brought my values into sharp focus. I'm someone who cares about value--moral, aesthetic, etc.--a lot. Becoming a mother, with the relentless demands on my energy and attention, has burned away a lot of bullshit. Here is what matters to me: family, spirituality, creativity. I can flesh that out again--my spirituality encompasses my devotion to the earth, for example--but those are the clean bones.

So I return to this space, where for many years I've written about spirituality, my winding, earth-based path. My passion is still here. If you're reading--and especially if you've been reading for years--I'm grateful.


S. Nichole said...

Glad you are returning. Your blog has always been enjoyable.

Congrats on motherhood. :)

Inanna said...

Thanks so much!

Paul said...

My daughter gave birth to her first child, a beautiful daughter, in April so I have some idea how you are feeling. Welcome back and blissings for 2010

Inanna said...

Thank you, Paul! And congratulations to your daughter (and you, too).

Scrivener said...

Reading the last sentence of your post made me realize that I've been reading your blog(s) for something like 5 years now! That is kind of amazing.