Things You'll Never Hear a Pagan Say

Pandora links to this funny page at the Cardiff University Pagan Society: Things You'll Never Hear a Pagan Say (divided into subtypes of Pagans, of course, with a few individuals thrown in for good measure). A sampling:

Dianic:

"Shall we have an open ritual for all the men?"
"Face it - menstruation is just a bloody nuisance."
"The earliest cultures were patriarchal and peaceful."
"Sorry, I can't come to the ritual tonight. My husband's ill."

Discordian:

"Hang on, that doesn't make any sense!"
"Nope, too weird for me."

Druidry:

"No cider for me, thanks."
"Oh I couldn't possibly sing that! I'm too embarrassed!"

Gerald Gardner:

"Actually, we'll skip the scourging for this ritual..."
"For Gods' sakes, put your clothes back on!"
"Nah, I made it all up."

New Agers:

"Hello, I'm a New Ager."

Tarot:

"That card means you're going to die!"

Applies to all Pagans (or almost all, or at least those who consent to have it apply to them...):

"Nah, let's not go down to the pub tonight. Is there anywhere else we can have a moot?"
"Everybody here on time? Yes? Good."
"You know all those recent cattle and horse mutilation crimes? That was us."